Confession. I wrote my book "I ❤️ MY DOUBLES PARTNER!!!" after having the SELFISH realization that if I was sweeter and kinder to my partner they played better and then they were happier so then I WAS HAPPIER. When I am encouraging - the tennis match is more fun for BOTH of us! Being nice is good for ME most of all!
Last night as we were walking to our court to play tennis (a practice singles match) there were people practicing. We were running a little late but had reserved and paid for the court. I saw that they were good players and asked my husband, "If they want to continue playing - shall we let them join us?" He replied "Sure - sounds good!" As we approached the lady on the court said that we were too late and she was taking the court. Robert nicely explained that we had booked and paid for the court - but she wasn't having any of it. I called the front desk and they came and removed her and her friends from the court.
What would have been an invitation to join us turned into us having them ejected from the court!!! It reminded me: BE LOVING - that's the only way to be. When I am mean, ungenerous, uncompromising, unkind, angry and forceful - I get that same response and reaction from others.
Today I look back and feel sad that I was not able to - in the moment - still invite them to join us - instead of making them leave. That is what I learned. Hopefully next time I will stay open even in the face of adversity. It's a practice and I am working on it!