WHY DO I WANT TO WIN?
I wanted to win so badly. I needed to win. I just had to.
And if I didn't - then the excuses came pouring in! "She's (my opponent) not at the right level - she should be higher! She played in college!" "Oh - my partner was a little tired today." "Yeah - I didn't sleep well." "It was so windy!" "They made terrible line calls!" When I started playing - I never and I mean NEVER gave props to my opponents. I always had an excuse for why I lost.
And then - one day - I realized that I wasn't enjoying tennis if I didn't win. I was only happy when the match went my way.
So I took some time to reflect. And I realized that the rating system and what people thought of me had become more important than the game!
I was trying to win to "look good". As soon as I realized this - I decided to make another choice. I now CHOOSE TO ENJOY every moment on the court. To be kind to myself and my partner. To authentically give compliments to my opponent. To feel GRATITUDE every time I get to play. To bask in the pleasure of the game - no matter the outcome.
And you know what? Magically - I dove up from a 3.0 to a 4.5 in 8 years from the age of 35 to 43 EFFORTLESSLY. That's how it works.
LOVE is the real winner.